May is Mental Health Awareness Month. The following article was first published in Managing Mental Health: A Guide to Building Resilience and Finding Balance in Community Associations.
Contributed by Kelly Zibell, AMS, PCAM
I used to wake up daily at 2 or 3 a.m. I couldn’t go back to sleep no matter what I did — meditation, soothing music, cutting out caffeine or screen time. You name it; I tried it. Looking back now, I realize I was experiencing significant anxiety and unhealthy habits. I’ve always been a high achiever and after falling into the community association industry in college, I quickly realized I found a career with limitless potential to grow and serve. As I expanded, I took on more responsibilities until I was running my own division for a large national company.
I loved that job. Mentoring others and watching them grow into our industry’s future leaders gave me a feeling of such joy and appreciation and hearing of their accomplishments today brings a smile to my face. Then came COVID-19. My team and I were poised to have our best year yet. Like many others, my husband and I found ourselves suddenly homeschooling a child on top of learning how to work from home. Coupled with rising complaints from residents also stuck at home, it made for a stressful situation.
About a year into the pandemic, after many sleepless nights, I had an enlightening conversation with my husband. I realized I couldn’t do it all and still take care of myself. So, I quit. I gave up a job I loved and a company I had been with for 14 years. For the first time in my adult life, I gave myself permission to not have the next step in my career mapped out. I took time to breathe. For six weeks, I had no plans. I thought about how I ended up burnt out. I spent time reflecting on what parts of our industry I truly loved. I learned I needed to come back to it, but I had to redefine what success meant. In this new reality, it didn’t mean climbing a career ladder. It meant prioritizing my family and my mental health first.
A few years later, I still have tough days at work. What’s different is how I let it affect my life. By changing my perspective and refocusing my career goals, I gave myself permission to pivot. For me, it means finding a role that allows me to serve in the industry but also maintain balance. Throughout my 20-year career, I’ve seen many managers burn out. They try to be perfect at work and home until it becomes too much. They hide their failures because they are embarrassed they can’t do it all. They self-sabotage or take medical leave due to stress. They quit and never return. We lose their potential.
For a long time, career success has been defined as an upward path. Community managers need to give themselves permission to reshape their roles because success isn’t always linear. It needs to take the shape that makes you happy.
Kelly Zibell is senior vice president of community management for Communitas in Morgan Hill, Calif. She is a past chair of CAI’s Community Association Managers Council and currently serves on CAI’s Board of Trustees.
>>WEBINAR: Wednesday, May 28th, CAI is hosting a webinar to discuss the importance of, and effective strategies for, supporting manager mental health. Register now for Burnout Battle: Supporting Community Managers’ Mental Health.
NEW BOOK
Kelly Zibell and more than a dozen other leaders in community associations are sharing their journeys, challenges, successes, and advice in CAI’s new book, Managing Mental Health. Through personal stories and carefully selected prompts that encourage readers to check in with themselves, their colleagues, and their clients, the book will help put readers on the path to a balanced, productive, and successful journey in community associations. Available in print and digital.
Being a property manager in a high demand community means constantly absorbing the stress and negativity that comes with daily complaints and pressure from residents. It’s a role that requires patience, resilience, and emotional strength, day in and day out. Unfortunately, many management companies underestimate the toll this takes on their employees mental health. It would make a meaningful difference if companies recognized this impact and implemented regular mental health support, whether through monthly wellness initiatives like massages, mindful retreats, or dedicated mental health days. This job can be incredibly rewarding, but it can also be overwhelming, and without intentional moments to pause and reset, it can seriously affect a person’s well-being. We all need to take a breath sometimes, and it would be powerful to work for a management company that not only acknowledges that, but actively supports it.