Contributed by Whitney Shepard
It’s not uncommon for community association managers and board members to have days filled with high-stress situations, emotional exchanges, and difficult personalities. Disgruntled residents, an unresolved maintenance issue, or an unsympathetic board member are part of the job, but there’s a clear line between having a difficult day and experiencing harassment, especially when the emotional toll crosses into the territory of toxic behavior.
It’s not always easy to navigate the emotional labor required to balance the needs of residents, boards, and homeowners. On a rough day, emotions can run high, and it’s easy to internalize the frustration of others. These situations can leave you feeling drained and questioning your approach. That frustration crosses a line with publicly humiliating or defaming remarks, unfair accusations or slander, inconsistent expectations and undue criticism, and verbal or emotional aggression.
While leadership roles in community associations require a high level of resilience, it’s critical to recognize when the challenges go beyond normal stress. Here are some steps that can help protect both your mental health and professional boundaries:
- Document everything. The first line of defense is documentation. Keeping a record of emails, phone calls, and in-person interactions can provide a clear record of what’s happening. Having evidence of a pattern of harassment can be crucial if you decide to take legal action.
- Set boundaries. One of the most important skills in leadership is setting clear, healthy boundaries. While you’re there to help residents, it’s essential to assert that you will not tolerate abusive behavior. Be firm but respectful when addressing issues with residents or board members.
- Report and seek support. Don’t hesitate to report any harassment to a supervisor or human resources. While it may feel uncomfortable, it’s crucial to let them know what’s happening so they can intervene. Seek support from colleagues or mentors in the field. Others may have experienced similar situations and can provide valuable advice on how they handled it.
- Know your rights. Many don’t realize they have legal options. If the harassment escalates, employment law provides protections against harassment. Consulting with an attorney or an employment expert can help you understand what steps to take.
- Self-care is key. It’s easy to burn out if you don’t take care of yourself. Set aside time for activities that refresh and replenish you. Being effective in your role requires personal health and well-being.
It’s essential that community managers and board members are supported with adequate resources and provided training to recognize and address harassment. Leaders in community associations deserve a safe, supportive environment where contributions are valued and boundaries are respected.
Whitney Shepard is a manager with Community Management Corp., in Alexandria, Va.
>>A version of this article was first published in Community Manager November/December 2025.
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