August is National Wellness Month. A version of this article was first published in Managing Mental Health: A Guide to Building Resilience and Finding Balance in Community Associations. 

Contributed by Melissa Ramsey, CMCA, AMS, LSM, PCAM 

I’m a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. We can dwell on situations in our life, or we can accept it and move on. Each encounter and situation molds us. How we choose to respond greatly impacts our emotional state of mind, not just in the moment, but years later. 

There are situations that have no reasonable explanation, but the trauma caused by them is real and should not be ignored — events like divorce, not getting into the school of your choice, a breakup, choosing a job you later regret, etc. 

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Melissa Ramsey and more than a dozen other leaders in community associations are sharing their journeys, challenges, successes, and advice in CAI’s new book, Managing Mental Health. Through personal stories and carefully selected prompts that encourage readers to check in with themselves, their colleagues, and their clients, the book will help put readers on the path to a balanced, productive, and successful journey in community associations. Available in print and digital. 

On March 7, I went in for my annual mammogram. They asked questions I normally was not asked. I knew right then something wasn’t right. On March 9, I went for a follow-up appointment that included an ultrasound. I had a biopsy on March 16. On March 21, I got the call I had been dreading. The nurse navigator confirmed I had estrogen-based invasive lobular breast cancer. 

In those two weeks, few knew what was going on. I had meetings, birthday parties, speaking engagements, and the normal day-to-day duties of a working mom. Despite being extremely scared and angry, I kept smiling on the outside for the sake of my kids. 

The weeks that followed were a blur. Why me? How can someone who so openly promotes fitness end up with cancer? Each nurse or doctor I saw would comment how healthy I was. It started to weigh on me in a negative way. I wanted to yell and tell them to stop saying that. 

Then, I reconnected with my rainbows and butterflies mantra. This new challenge was happening to me for a reason. My situation could have been way worse. I was being given the opportunity to share this journey and urge women to schedule mammograms. After more exams and an MRI, my oncologist and I determined a mastectomy was the best option. Based on my type of cancer, I opted to proceed with a double mastectomy for my own piece of mind. 

The pain after surgery was awful, but I kept smiling. I smiled for my kids, friends, and family. I smiled because of the support coming my way from near and far. This experience reminded me how many people I have in my life who support me through good and bad times. The support continues through the recovery process, which has been full of bumps and worst-case scenarios. Each situation brings the need to reset and refocus. 

Although I was initially angry about my diagnosis, I’ve accepted it and the ongoing treatment I face. I’m grateful for the experience that reminded me what matters most. It has forced me to reset and refocus as many times as I need. My mindset is strong and committed to what lies ahead. 

Now I utilize my mantra as a much-needed reminder to slow down, take a deep breath, and prioritize what matters. Spending energy on things you cannot control is unproductive. I can only focus on what I can control, which includes my mindset. Being in tune to what brings me a state of calm has been very rewarding. Knowing when my stress levels are rising and being able to step back to evaluate the situation has been a crucial learning curve. Who says you can’t teach an old lady new tricks? 

With my continued focus on promoting wellness in all aspects of one’s lifestyle, the awareness to a positive mindset is key. The health benefits are endless, further supporting my efforts in maintaining a rainbows and butterflies state of mind. An individual with positive mindset has reduced stress levels, improved coping skills, better resilience to challenges, enhanced relationships, increased confidence, lower rates of depression, better physical health, improved immunity, and a greater ability to adapt to life changes. Essentially, a positive mindset leads to a higher overall quality of life. 

We all face challenges and obstacles that can derail us, putting us in a negative head space. Negative mindsets impact both physical and mental health, causing an increase in anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem. No one should suffer continuously. Plus, the negative frame of mind can create strained relationships as one acts out with anger and lack of motivation. When faced with a negative mindset, support and connections make a huge difference. 

Each person should find their own mantra — their version of the north star. It should be a word, image, saying, or something else that brings them back to center. Something that resets them to a calm state. 

 Here’s to finding your rainbows and butterflies state of mind! 

 Melissa Ramsey is CAI’s 2025 president and is with Mosaic Community Consulting in Lancaster, S.C.