Contributed by Jennifer Miller
Even the most well-prepared and effective communicators in community associations will inevitably be faced with situations that have escalated into conflict, but experts have several strategies to de-escalate and resolve most difficult conversations.
“Don’t point fingers,” says Marcy Kravit, CMCA, AMS, PCAM, with Hotwire Communications in Fort Lauderdale, Fla. “Don’t talk about the person; talk about the behavior. Don’t generalize; keep the focus on specifics.”
Like many in the field, community association attorney Edward Hoffman Jr., of Hoffmann Law in Montgomeryville, Pa., says he’s seen an increase in irrational behavior and conflict since 2020. “The COVID lockdowns seemed to change people’s mentalities,” he says. “People seem to be more direct or sometimes confrontational. As a result, effective communication is now more important than ever.
“The key when dealing with (a confrontational) person is to make them feel heard and give them autonomy in the situation,” adds Hoffman, a fellow in CAI’s College of Community Association Lawyers and current chair of CAI’s Pennsylvania Legislative Action Committee. “Sit down, look someone in the eye, have a sincere conversation about what’s going on, and give them the opportunity to share their perspective.”
Dealing with difficult conversations doesn’t necessarily mean coming to a final resolution, but it’s a step in the process. CAI Board of Trustees member Staci Gelfound, CMCA, AMS, PCAM, says, “Even if you aren’t able to agree on a resolution that makes everyone happy, you can direct the conversation to a point where you have clearly explained the situation and you understand each other’s perspectives.”
While communicating with residents is often built on establishing invaluable personal rapport, technology, including artificial intelligence, can improve communications too.
Wendy Taylor, CMCA, AMS, LSM, PCAM, a consultant with Management Matters in Boca Raton, Fla., recommends setting up an autoreply for all incoming emails from residents. The reply should include a specific timeline for responses that sets clear expectations for residents.
Bruce Gran, CMCA, AMS, PCAM, with PMG Services in Scottsdale, Ariz., recommends using AI as a tool to search member and business databases to develop and send automated responses to frequently asked questions.
Gelfound, president of WPM Real Estate Management in Owings Mills, Md., turns to AI platforms like ChatGPT to provide a framework for some of her more challenging messages. “Sometimes emotion plays into it when you’re communicating with residents, but you don’t want your frustration to come through in an email,” she says.
With the right prompts — for example, background on the issue, details that need to be included, intended audience, tone you want to achieve — AI tools can instantly create a template board members and managers can review and tailor for one-time or repeated use.
Beyond AI, Gran advises communities to maximize the communication capabilities of their technology and database platforms to automate messaging.
For example, when financials are posted, the system can send one type of email notification to board members and a different message to homeowners, taking a huge load off the day-to-day task list.
Jennifer Miller is a freelance writer in the Washington, D.C., area.
>>Read more communication tips in “The Magic Words” from Common Ground May/June 2025.
